Oxygen: Live Out Loud

One of my dear best friends Monica convinced me to try out for DYAO. She was with me back in November 2009 at club "bounce" screenings before the open call auditions. Monica has always said that one day I should be on T.V. and show my talents, especially when all the reality talent shows started coming out about 10 years ago. Thank you Monica for believing in me and making all the efforts to support me from the beginning. It’s almost 15 years that we have been friends/family! I love you! You’re an angel! Hope you’re proud!

I was so freaking nervous about the medical evaluation! I hate hospitals and doctors for the most part because they just represent "scary information." I must say my thoughts have changed now. It is the knowledge from my evaluation and doctor visits that have empowered me to be aware of and active with my body. No one else can take care of your body but you. So although my initial reaction was fear, nervousness, embarrassment, and anxiety, I now am so grateful for the "powerful insight the evaluation has given me to get myself better."

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I was chosen to be on the show. I’m one of the luckiest people to be chosen! I had given up on my dreams for years, thinking I’ll never have my chance. I have had some rough times starting in 2001. During 911 I was in NYC. Then a few years later my Grandma passed away, and that same year I had tumors removed from my vocal chords and almost lost my voice. I gained weight and continued to gain, and have put myself at health risks. This TV show competition is exactly the opportunity I needed in my life because I don’t want to die with the music inside of me. I’m grateful and AM completely wholeheartedly EXCITED and SO HAPPY to finally have my chance! Thank you sooooooo freakin much, you don’t understand how this is exactly what I needed in my life to HELP me get out of the shadows! I’m going to have a chance to fly into the light and for that, my soul is vibrating! I will give everything I can! Thank you Lisa Ann for being the creator of such a life-changing, uplifting show. Many people fall through the cracks in life, so thank you to Oxygen and all the individuals that have made it possible to catch all of us who fit in on DYAO!

My main hopes and goals are to first put myself back on my list of "things to do and take care of." I have lived a life of busy, busy, busy, and "love and support all those around me,” that I have left myself on the back-burner and forgotten about "loving myself enough." Ask anyone I know and they will say I’m the type of person who will help, love, support, give great advice, etc., yet I’m not doing these things for myself. I’m tired of giving up and just giving in. I have always loved to dance and perform, and I come from a Latin American family. We have "Fiestas/Parties" with music, singing and dancing, yet I stopped it all. Ever too tired, I’d stay home and eat food, or eat food not thinking of the pounds I’m gaining, then feel guilty and depressed after I eat. I know it might not sound like much, but knowing that I have health risks such as diabetes, bad blood circulation (feet and hands fall asleep if in a kinked position), acid reflux, high blood pressure and on and on. For these reasons alone you would think I would change my eating habits and get healthy, but I haven’t. Enough is enough, "I am ready to change" or I will die! I want myself back! I want to dance like I used too back in high school of the arts, I want to show those who are watching that "You can go back in time to a healthy place" and "You can keep your dreams alive." With hard work, determination and willpower from within, and when YOU’RE READY you can take help from the professionals and put it in use!! I want to loose 100 lbs, I know that sounds unrealistic to most and even to me right now, but I will try my best to "NOT GIVE UP, LOVE MYSELF ENOUGH TO TRY, AND GO FOR IT." My goal is to finally WIN in life and inspire and pay it all forward. I will have the unique opportunity to touch people’s lives, one individual at a time. I take this opportunity with gratitude and responsibility to others. I am a make-up artist and instructor, and there is nothing better than giving my experience to my students and seeing them "inspired to go on their own journey." My goal is to do the same with those who are touched and moved by my journey and personal struggle while being on DYAO. I want viewers to feel motivated to get up and start moving and dancing. This is a driving force for me, when I feel a sense of responsibility for "Team Group Inspiration," I in return feel inspired and motivated. This is about me and it’s about all of us: YOU, ME and EVERYONE who has given up or given in. Let’s stand up for ourselves and love ourselves enough to count. We are important and unique, and I want to live life fulfilled and in the best version of myself. I will give my all and never give up!